Christmas Eve

I started off my Christmas Eve day with a run up to my Psalm 23 spot. I brought my iPod along and listened to music the whole way. The sunrise over the mountain was the most magnificent I have seen in my 3 months here in East Timor. The morning had dawned warm, bright and beautiful! I laughed when “Let it Snow” came on my iPod. I changed the words to “Let it Shine”, which seemed much more appropriate.

Most of the day was spent working alongside sisters, orphans and parishioners helping to decorate the church for the Christmas services that evening and the next morning. The decorations were simple, but everyone took time and effort to make the church look its very best.

A long red carpet spanned the length of the entire center aisle of the church and completely covered the altar. Beautiful, fragrant pink, yellow and white flowers had been brought in from gardens around the Venilale area to make flower arrangements for the altar. I was told these flowers are unique to this area, and they were truly beautiful and unlike any I had ever seen before.  A large banner was hung behind the altar that read “Jesus is born today”.

Sr. Dolores and I went around the inner perimeter of the church and hung up impromptu “flower pots” made out of tall plastic water bottles out of which a hole had been cut. I wasn’t sure how these water bottle planters would turn out, but they actually looked very nice once the flowers were added. You would have had to look very closely to see the water bottle planter holding the arrangement in place.

While we decorated, a priest and several altar servers practiced their entrance procession and reviewed their roles for the mass. The choir was also practicing, and it was a real treat to hear some Christmas songs I recognized, including an Alleluia chorus, Go Tell it on the Mountain, and Joy to the World!

I was REALLY starting to feel in the Christmas spirit! These preparations for Christmas mass seemed so similar to the preparations back home! It was so neat to see that even in East Timor, people go to great strides and effort to make the church look special for Christmas. Why? Because it is a VERY BIG DEAL! I was far from home, but the meaning of the season is still the same. God is just as much with me here as he is back in Texas. In fact, I feel that in many ways I can better experience Him here without the distractions I face at home! I didn’t feel so homesick after all. I felt…joyful!

At one point, I was sitting beside jovial and always upbeat Sr. Noemia as she prepared bows. She leaned towards me and softly said, “When there are a lot of people around, I feel very shy” in Tetum.  I was very surprised to hear this. Sr. Noemia? She is always so positive, upbeat, outgoing and energetic. I never would have guessed she was so shy! She asked me if I “hanoin familia” –do you miss/are you thinking of your family?  I feel like this is a trick question. If you say no, people think you are insensitive. If you say yes, people feel badly for you. I said yes  (which was the truth) anyway. She confided that she missed hers, too. She just transferred to the Venilale convent from Dili last week, so I can understand why she might be feeling a little out of place. It had never occurred to me before this conversation that she might be feeling this way, though. It was comforting to know that I wasn’t alone in missing my family. I admit that I often forget how “human” sisters are. Surely they don’t suffer through some of the same emotions, feelings, problems and concerns that I do, right? Wrong. As it turns out, although sisters live a consecreated life, they aren’t that different from you and me after all!

Lunch was less than appetizing-2 vegetables that I have tried but do not like were being served, along with fried sardines and the staple white rice. For some reason, this drab meal really put a damper on my spirits. I imagined the honey baked ham, lasagna, ravioli, steak, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, stuffed shells and other delicious items I would be eating if I was at home. I prayed that God would open my eyes to see how blessed I was-at least I had food to eat, which is more than many people here in East Timor and around the world can say. I felt so guilty for feeling the way I did, but I couldn’t shake the feeling. I missed home!

On the plus side, the “dessert” was good. I tried passion fruit for the first time! I watched as Sr. Dolores cut hers in half, squeezed the two halves into a glass (including the black seeds), added water and sugar, and drank it. She encouraged me to try it myself. I was apprehensive, but figured I would give it a shot. It was actually very sweet and delicious! Sr. D then proceeded to eat the white inner “rind” of the passion fruit. She said it was good for your stomach. I tasted it. It was kind of bitter. I am sure it has fiber, so by “good for your stomach” the sisters probably mean it “clears you out”.

After a long day of working in the church and a less-than-appetizing lunch, I was hoping delicious food would be served for dinner. “Santa” didn’t come early- we had a pretty bland meal-fried artificial crab leg meat, white rice and some kind of diced carrot and cabbage veggie mix.

Sr. Olga informed me during dinner that mass was at 10 p.m., but you would need to be there by 8:30 to get a seat.  I figured I squeeze in pretty easily somewhere if I arrived later than that, but I showed up at the time she suggested to pray, reflect and get the whole “Christmas eve mass experience.” The church was almost empty when I arrived, but I didn’t mind getting there early. The electric organ played upbeat songs to entertain the congregation before the mass began.

Despite the weather having turned cooler, foggier and rainier this evening, by the time mass started the church was packed! As I looked around the church I saw unfamiliar, brown faces. That’s when it really struck me. God did not come just to save Americans, Caucasians, people in my church or the United States. He came to give hope and to be the Savior of the whole world! It was incredible to think that we here in East Timor were some of the first to celebrate the Christmas Eve mass around the world. It was more incredible to think that millions of people will be attending church services just like this one (in different tongues, different places, different times, different weather, different circumstances) in recognition, honor, and celebration of a tiny event that happened more than 2000 years ago. Jesus came into the world. Not just for ME, but for that man sitting in the choir, for the teenage girl in front of me, for the shepherd I met the other day on my run, for ALL of us! He gave us ALL a hope and a future! Why a manger? Because he wanted to come to OUR level, to meet us where we are.

I may have been the only Caucasian and the only person who couldn’t understand the mass, but I felt like I belonged. I was a fellow Christian, a fellow person rejoicing in Christ Our Savior being born! I wasn’t alone, I was in community with millions of Christians all over the world today and this week! I may not be with my family or participating in the usual traditions, but the real reason for the season hasn’t changed. I am still celebrating the same event. Jesus came into the world, and he is Universal. He is with me here in East Timor, in Texas or wherever I may go! God is a good God!

The door behind the choir was open, bringing a cool and refreshing breeze into the church. Unfortunately, this also swept the blanket off of the tiny baby Jesus doll on the altar by the lectionary. One of the orphan girls got up from where she was sitting on the left wing of the church and promptly placed the sheet back over Jesus. After returning to her seat, the next gust of wind blew the cloth right back off again! A small, but audible chuckle resounded through the church. Poor baby Jesus! Isn’t it bad enough he didn’t have a crib for a bed? Now he didn’t even have a blanket to keep him warm!  An elderly lady came up a few minutes later, folded the cloth in half to make it heavier, then laid it across Jesus. Problem solved.

To my surprise, we began mass at 9:50-10 minutes early. The mass seemed to go by quickly, although it ended up being just under 2 hours long. I had read the mass readings beforehand so I would have a better idea of what was being said. I was glad I had done this. The Gospel reading was from Luke and told the birth story of Jesus. I was able to follow along pretty well as the priest read it. Although I knew the story, I found that I felt a sort of joy and sense of wonder as I heard it, as if I was listening to it for the first time. Again I was reminded of how great God’s reign is. Every year I have attended mass I have heard this story in English. This year I was attending mass in a country where just about 1 million people speak the Tetum language. 

Regardless, they were all Christians, read the same Bible and believe the same things. It is just so awesome to share a common belief, hope and joy with millions of people all over the world! I hadn’t even heard of East Timor at this time last Christmas. Now I was fully immersed in a mass here! I was hearing the good news of Jesus’ birth in the gospel. Jesus transcends time, place and language. There is no barrier He can’t cross!

Although I have heard this story dozens of times, I was captivated as I listened to the priest. I listened in wonder and awe, as if this was the first time I had heard the good news of salvation. I felt like the whole church was holding its breath! Suddenly, a cell phone rang! I was shocked and a little angry! The breathless church breathed a sigh of frustration. I wondered how many people in this whole congregation even HAD phones? What was the chance of one going off literally right before the birth of Jesus was announced? Still, I quickly put this annoyance aside and listened in reverent awe to the rest of the story. Awesome, as always.

The choir sang beautifully throughout the entire mass.  After communion they sang “O Holy Night” in English! At this point in the mass, I had tears in my eyes. I didn’t know if it was because I was thinking of my family or because I felt overwhelmingly happy and peaceful. I had just finished praying, and stood up with the other sisters. The rows in front of us were still kneeling, so I got a very clear view of the choir and of the priest. When they started singing “O Holy Night” in English, I got chills! I felt as if God was speaking right to me, as if this was a gift to welcome and accept me here in Venilale, East Timor! I proudly and strongly sang along, not afraid of sounding off key. Sister Teresa asked me to please find the words in my songbook so she could sing along in English, too! I felt sooo happy! I felt like I belonged! I felt blessed!

At the end of mass, Father said the final blessing and thanked everyone who had helped to prepare for the mass this evening. A bat suddenly swooped in from somewhere in the back of the church and flew just above the congregation’s head. It zigged and zagged to and fro. I couldn’t believe that no one screamed or even flinched! I saw a couple of altar servers try to shoo it away, but there was no big commotion. These people are fearless! The bat actually ended up perching on the window right beside me just over my head! I was creeped out, but also fascinated. I got a good chance to see what a LIVE (as opposed to the dead bat the girls at the orphanage had shown me last month) bat looked like up close!

I thought the mass was over at this point. I thought wrong! The entire congregation then lined up to kiss the baby Jesus doll that had been prominently displayed on the altar. Apparently this is a Portuguese tradition. Two lines formed, and I soon discovered there were two baby Jesus dolls-one was Caucasian, and the other had brown skin. You couldn’t tell which color baby Jesus you would kiss until it was your turn in the line, but it seemed funny to me nonetheless. I was happy that I ended up in the line to kiss the brown baby Jesus-I didn’t want to appear racist.

I felt awkward and unsure as I approached the doll. I couldn’t see where everyone in front of me was kissing it. Was there a designated spot?  Unlike when I kissed the Blarney Stone last year in Ireland, there was no wet spot from the accumulation of other people’s spit that indicated where I should kiss it. When it came my turn, I saw that Jesus’ knee was bent and jutting out, so I kissed that. I think that was the right place to kiss Him. I felt awkward but relieved to be done, and proceeded back to my seat. When everyone had finished, the priest and the altars servers proceeded out of the church and the congregation followed.

To my surprise, after the service ended, the sisters all we all gathered together and we headed to the dining room! The cheerful sound of Christmas music playing from a stereo greeted us as we entered the room! There were presents brightly wrapped in red paper under the tree, and table was beautifully set with cheerful yellow placemats with a picture of a bouquet of yellow roses on it. The napkins were elegantly folded at each place setting.

We all greeted each other with a cheerful “Boafesta!” and hug. Then Sister Olga encouraged us to find our present under the tree and open it. The sisters all received Tetum faith books (they looked interesting, maybe I could borrow one and try to read through it) and I received a lovely pink, navy blue and gold patterned tais purse! The sisters are so kind to me in letting me live and eat with them-I really didn’t need anything. Still, this was SO generous and sweet of them!

After we opened presents, we sat down to feast! The table was set with dark chocolate cookies, fruit cake, a white frosted cake with raisins on top, and a bowl of oranges and apples. The beverage selection included a sweet wine from Portugal (I tried a little, but of course, I didn’t like it. I’m glad I didn’t take too much!), milk, Energen chocolate or vanilla packets (these are sort of like hot chocolate, but not as smooth or sweet), packets of cappuccino, Tiger beer, apple or grapefruit juice. Although everything tasted delicious, I was surprised to discover that my favorite thing was the fruit cake! I had never actually tried one before.

The Christmas song, “We’re simply having a wonderful Christmas time!” came on. At that moment I just felt soooo happy and joyful. Yes, I WAS having a wonderful Christmas!  I had looked forward to experiencing an East Timor Christmas, but I never imagined I would actually enjoy it. It was so cool to hear a familiar song in a new setting and not feel a twinge of longing or regret, of missing home. No, instead I was joyful. I was having a very wonderful Christmas time! Surely this song was referring to this exact moment that I was sharing with all the sisters. I could have sat at that table all night, just soaking in the joy and happiness I felt. There is nowhere else I wanted to be at that moment. Unfortunately, all good things come to an end, and before I knew it we were clearing the table.

I was serenaded by festive Christmas music playing from somewhere up the hill as I headed back to my room that night. It wasn’t hard to count my blessings before I turned on my iPod and listened to more Christmas music as I drifted off to sleep…