Today Sr. Olga (the head nun and principal at the school/convent where I am staying) showed me around my new “home” for the next 8 months.
There are 118 girls aged 15-18 that live at the school. They all sleep in the same room on rickety bunk beds! They also share one huge bathroom that smells putrid. During the day, both boys and girls attend classes. The facility here is really beautiful. There is a computer lab with internet, as well as a computer language lab. There are a dozen or so classrooms, a large cafeteria, 2 dining rooms for the sisters to eat in, and a very large chapel right next to Sr. Olga’s office (she’s the principal of the school).
Sr. Carolina then took me to the medical clinic (just a 5 minute walk from my room), which was even smaller than I imagined. It was very clean and orderly, and appeared well stocked with medicines and supplies. After that, we visited the seminary school where I met a priest. Next, we visited the girl’s orphanage. There are about 130 girls aged 4-16 who live there. They also have bunk beds, but are split into 2 separate rooms. I met some of the orphans and they are adorable! I hope to spend more time with them. Sr. Carolina next took me to her convent, which is a very short walk from the convent where I am staying. I met Ulin, another young volunteer from Poland (although she studied in Germany). She was very bright and bubbly and said she would love to show me around, hang out with me, and even help me with my Tetum. She said that being around the children is a great way to learn it. Even if you don’t understand what they are saying, they keep speaking, and eventually you catch on. She has been here 5 months and will only stay 1 more. I hope to become good friends with her during the short time we will be here together. She is the niece of Sr. Johanna.
While I was touring and observing in the clinic, I couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed! I guess I am frustrated because I don’t yet know what my role will be or how I will fit in. I have very experience in a clinic and am not sure how to help. In Mexico the only thing I did was check blood pressures, heart rates, pulses, weight, height and temperatures. I would be glad to do that here if I could, but of course I would also like to do much more. I don’t know where any of the medicines are or what any of them are used for. Worst of all (to me), I don’t know how to speak Tetun and so I find it very hard to communicate with others. How can I ever treat someone if I don’t know what’s wrong with them? As I was observing Sr. Carolina, these thoughts started swirling in my head and I became very overwhelmed by all of these thoughts. I thought about how badly I wanted to go home L
I reminded myself that God has sent me here for a very specific purpose. It is no accident that I am here. He did not send me all the way here just to be frustrated and not to be of any service. I have come too far and suffered through too much jet lag and car sickness to turn back now. I know that people are praying for me back home, and I don’t want to let them down. I don’t want to let God down, and I don’t want to let myself down. I knew that adjusting would be difficult, but as I tend to do, in my mind I oversimplified it and figured everything would be lovely from the very first moment I arrived here.
It is comforting to know that things will get better (hey, they can’t get much worse, can they?). I just have to be patient with myself. I will learn Tetun. I may not ever be a master, but I know with time I will learn enough to effectively communicate with others. This won’t happen overnight. Or in a week. Not even a month or 2. It will be a continuous learning process. LIFE is a continuous learning process. If we stop learning, we stop living.
I WILL find ways to help. They may be small at first-sweeping the clinic, observing, retrieving something from the supply closet. But as Mother Teresa says, “We can do no great things. Only small things with great love.”
What do I have to worry about? I am safe here. I can pray as often as I want. Jesus is always with me. I am healthy and feel like God is working here in me and in others. Yes, I could quit. But think about all the things I could learn by staying. If I can get through this, I can certainly get through medical school where they speak English. I will gain confidence in myself and my ability to adapt, learn, love and laugh. I have everything to gain by staying, and nothing to gain by leaving.
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